


Down A Path Darkly

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M, Troubled Tribble kissing prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 01:26:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean sees a picture of Elijah and it opens a floodgate of memory and feeling.</p><p>One of the hottest stories I've ever written.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down A Path Darkly

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: As always I thank and bless my best friend Abandonada for her skillful and insightful editing skills. She knows them so WELL, and loves them as much as I do. Her suggestions always make my stories so much better than they would have been without them.
> 
> Second, I want to dedicate this story to my dear friend and fellow Sean and Elijah author, Ink_gypsy. Ink, you and I are two of the few holdouts who still love, read, and write our OTP. I hope you enjoy this one as much as I've enjoyed your stories through the years. My iPad overflows with your fics and I read them all the time. This story is meant to express my gratitude for the pleasure your stories have given me. Love you!

"Hey, dude! What's up?"

They had exchanged a rather perfunctory hug at Elijah's back gate, and now he stood looking at Sean who was silently leaning against his car staring down at the ground.

Elijah reached out and tapped his arm to get his attention. "Hey, you're the one who wanted this meet-up. Have you changed your mind?"

"No. Of course not. Can we go in?"

Elijah twisted in the direction of his back door, beckoning Sean to follow. "C'mon." Then he hesitated. "You know, second thought... ... it's the middle of the fucking night. You'd better put your car in my garage first. Leaving it here in the alley isn't a good idea. Hang on. I'll open the door." He disappeared into the back yard.

"Dammit!" Sean hissed under his breath as he got into his car. "I should have thought this through. This was a stupid idea! I shouldn't do this kind of stuff on impulse! I'll never be able to find the right words to say." His fist clenched on the steering wheel as he slowly eased the car into the garage and parked it next to Elijah's.

As he got out, he could see Elijah just inside the utility room bathed in the light that poured through its open door. Sean could only see him in profile, but the effect was shattering. The light seemed to flow _from_ him rather than around him, and to Sean he had never looked more breathtakingly beautiful. He knew he should feel uplifted by the sight, but it only served to deepen his confusion and self-doubt. His heart skittered in his chest as he moved toward the landing and he paused and took a deep breath before stepping over the thresh-hold, struggling for calm.

"Thanks," he told Elijah. "That wouldn't have occurred to me." 

Elijah motioned toward the inner door. "C'mon in."

Sean wandered into the kitchen, peering around, smiling as he noted all the little touches that were so typically 'Elijah': a recycle bin containing more than a few empty beer bottles (all from rather exotic German and Russian ales), a rather untidy pile of mail on the counter, a group of many-colored sneakers lined up just inside the utility room door, Post-it notes, and snapshots stuck to the refrigerator door. Then, spotting a picture of himself and Elijah among the photos, he smiled. "Where was this taken?" he asked, and leaned down to see it more clearly in the darkened kitchen.

Elijah flipped on a light. "It was awhile ago."

In the shot, he and Elijah were smiling into each other's eyes. Sean's hands were cupped to gently cradle Elijah's face while Elijah's hands clasped his wrists. Both their faces were aglow with love and tenderness… and with something more. A single-minded possessiveness burned in their eyes. Clearly at that moment no one else on Earth existed for either of them and Sean knew that the only possible caption for this image would be one word: _Mine._

"Jesus," he whispered, his heart aching.

"I think Viggo took it," Elijah murmured from behind him. "I'm not sure where we were. Do you know?"

Sean straightened and turned to his friend, shaking his head. "No. But we sure look happy."

Elijah gave a short laugh. "Yeah. For the moment."

"There's a reason it's on your fridge, Lij," Sean reminded him gently. "You could have shoved it into a drawer or even thrown it away."

"D'you want a beer?" Elijah asked, ignoring the comment.

"No thanks."

Sean stepped quickly back from the refrigerator door and gracelessly stumbled over a kitchen chair before falling into it. "Ow! Well, wait. Yeah, gimme one."

Elijah smirked and shook his head as he took a seat opposite Sean, setting a beer in front of him. "OK, Astin, if you're done falling all over my kitchen, what's the deal here?"

"Can't I simply want to see you?"

"Of course you can! But when you called me, the urgency in your voice suggested something more than wanting to have a casual chat."

Sean nodded, his gaze fixed on Elijah's face. "Sometimes," he said slowly, "it seems like a dream."

"You mean New Zealand?"

"The things that happened there," Sean replied with a shrug. "More than the place itself."

"Well, yeah," Elijah conceded slowly. "It's been awhile. Memories fade I guess." He dropped his eyes then murmured, "Some memories do anyway."

Sean smiled. "Some memories?" he asked. "You mean... _certain_ memories? _Specific_ memories?"

"OK, Sean," Elijah said abruptly. "What's this about?" He lifted his eyes to Sean's and his gaze was returned, unflinching and sober.

"It strikes me at times," Sean said, a note of wonder in his voice. "I mean I look at pictures of you and it hits me like a fucking sledge hammer: _I made love to him!_ To HIM!"

A small smile touched Elijah's lips, and he nodded. "You did indeed."

"That's what I meant," Sean said, leaning toward him. "When I said it seemed like a dream. That's what I meant."

"Making love with me seemed like a dream?"

"It does," said Sean. "It did. It just doesn't seem possible that it was real.” 

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted," Elijah said, smiling.

"It doesn't seem possible," Sean continued, "because it doesn't seem possible to me that _anything_ could be as incredible as I'm remembering it to be."

"Well then I guess I'll have to go with 'flattered'," Elijah quipped.

"Do YOU remember it being... well... that good? I mean better than anything had ever been before." He hesitated then added more quietly, "Or since."

"Frankly, I'm amazed you remember it at ALL. I assumed you'd instantly blotted it out of your memory."

"Are you insane?"

Elijah merely shrugged.

"Elijah, I could _never_ do that! I think about it every single day." He sighed. "I sometimes wish I didn't."

"Now THAT'S the guilt-ridden Sean Astin I know and love," He studied Sean for a long moment. "Sean, where is this going? Are you here to seduce me?"

"No!" Sean protest, then frowned in self-annoyance. "Well, fuck it, Elijah, I don't know. Maybe I am. That wasn't my conscious reason, but who the fuck knows?"

"Sean..." Elijah sighed.

"I just wanted to know if you ever thought about it," Sean blurted. "If you remember it the way I do."

Elijah opened his mouth to speak but Sean quickly interrupted: "And I am NOT guilt-ridden!"

Elijah rolled his eyes skeptically then sat gazing quietly at his friend. For a long time there was silence between them. Then Elijah abruptly sat up straighter in his chair and leaned closer to Sean. "Look," he said, his voice flat and emotionless. "In the first place it's a ridiculous question. Of course I think about it. Of course I remember it the way you do. Yes. It really WAS that good. But for god's sake, Sean! All it ever brought you was pain and guilt! I thought we'd left that part of our friendship behind us. We agreed that it was for the best didn't we? That it could never come to anything.... at least anything good. Jesus, Sean, it was painful enough making those decisions at the time. Why are you bringing it all back up now?"

"I'm embarrassed to tell you," Sean said.

"Well, I'm sorry, but fuck that! This stuff is serious so don't fuck around."

Sean remained silent.

"C'mon, man!"

"OK, OK," Sean said, holding up his hand. "Please don't sound so irritated. That won't help me any."

"I'm not irritated," Elijah declared firmly. "I'm frustrated because you came here LOOKING for this conversation and now I'm having to pry it out of you with a crowbar!"

"I saw a picture of you awhile back," Sean said abruptly.

"A.... picture?"

"Yeah. I think it's from _Maniac_."

"Was I scalping someone?" Elijah said with a quick grin. "Though I'm not sure how that would bring our lovemaking to mind."

"No," Sean said, smiling as well. "You were crying. And..." he hesitated and then blurted: "You were naked. Or at least you LOOKED naked."

"Oh, THAT picture!"

"Yeeeeah," Sean drawled. "That picture."

"And you're embarrassed because..." Elijah said encouragingly.

"Because of how it affected me," Sean mumbled, staring at the floor.

"And ummmm, _how_ exactly did it affect you?" Elijah urged, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a smile.

"This isn't funny," Sean moaned, blushing furiously. 

"You know what?" Elijah said. "You need to learn not to jump to conclusions. I wasn't smiling because I find this funny. I was smiling because what you're saying... ... or wanking around TRYING to say... made me feel happy inside. Is that OK with you?" He raised his eyebrows and stared at Sean.

"Well, yeah," Sean conceded with a small smile. "It IS OK."

"Then you DID come here to seduce me," Elijah accused, grinning widely now.

"No, not really," Sean told him. "I came here..." he stopped and then shook his head thoughtfully. "I came here because when I saw that picture it hit me so fucking hard that I damn near fainted. I remembered _everything_ , Elijah. In one fucking split second I remembered everything. What it felt like to touch your body, to kiss it. I remembered how you smelled, how you tasted, what I felt, what I thought. It was like.... ZAP! Total fucking recall."

Elijah could see that he was trembling and frowned. He reached to touch Sean's arm. "Sean... Seanie, relax. It's OK."

"I touched the picture, Elijah," Sean said rapidly, his words falling all over themselves as he struggled to speak past his fear.... his embarrassment. "I couldn't stop myself. I ran my fingers over it and wanted to cry because it was just flat, cold, one-dimensional paper and not the warm, smooth, perfect body that I fucking adore. And I realized how hard it's been all these years to push that…that _remembering_ aside! How much I've struggled to keep it buried so it couldn't overwhelm me."

"It's OK, Seanie," Elijah said soothingly. "I understand. And there's no need to be embarrassed. I think it's romantic and sweet that it affected you that way."

"Damn near kissed it," Sean muttered.

"The picture?" 

"Yeah," he shook his head and looked up at Elijah. "Go ahead. Laugh. I wouldn't blame you."

Elijah chuckled and tugged on Sean's wrist, pulling him forward until he was able to press his lips briefly to Sean's cheek. "If I AM laughing it's because it's sweet and adorable, not because it's funny."

Sean merely shook his head. "Feel like a huge sappy dope."

"Jesus, Astin, you ARE a huge sappy dope! But that's a lot of what makes you so lovable."

For a moment there was silence and neither of them moved. Then Elijah interlaced their fingers and with his other hand tried to smooth Sean's unsmoothable hair. "OK. You came. You saw. You confessed. Now what?"

Sean peeked up at him through his lashes. "Weeeell..." he began with a shy grin.

Elijah burst out laughing and threw Sean's hand down. "You fucker!"

"Care to relive a golden moment from our past?" Sean asked with a wink. 

"Guess that depends on which moment you've got in mind," Elijah teased. 

"I think you KNOW which moment I have in mind."

Elijah pressed his lips together and sighed. "Seanie, I'd love to. I really would. But what I _wouldn't_ love is to wake up tomorrow morning to the sight of you beating the fuck out of yourself for cheating on your ever-so-perfect wife." He tilted his head and lifted one impeccable eyebrow. "Ya know?"

"And if I promise that I won't do that?"

Elijah looked skeptical.

"I promise!"

"How can you promise that, dude? You ARE still married, you know."

"It's different now, Elijah," Sean told him, scooting his chair forward until he was right in front of his friend. "That's part of what I came here to tell you. When we ended our …our...." he searched for a word.

"Yeeees?" Elijah asked, grinning again. "Our... " he beckoned with his hands, encouraging Sean to speak.

Sean laughed and grabbed his hands. "OK! Our affair!! Happy now?

Elijah simply laughed. "Continue."

"When we ended our affair I was more unhappy than I've ever been in my life. I missed you terribly. Still do for that matter. You and I share an... I dunno... an _intimacy_ that I've never shared with anyone else, not even Chris. You can see it in that picture!" He nodded toward the refrigerator.

"When we're together, it's like an aura wraps around us. It's like a cocoon of warmth and love and understanding. It's the best feeling I've ever had in my life. It's not sexual. It's... closeness. It's like—like drowning in bliss. And that's not even right. I don't know exactly what it is, but I need it, Elijah."

Elijah nodded. "Sean, I—"

"I need it, Lij," Sean whispered urgently. "I hadn't realized how much."

"I understand!" Elijah exclaimed. "But," he tilted his head, gazing at Sean quizzically. "Tell me this: Does this intimacy _have_ to include sex?"

To his surprise Sean laughed out loud. "Elijah," Sean said softly, holding his hands tighter. "Has our intimacy... the intimacy we've shared damn near since the moment we met... EVER had to include sex? Think, Elijah! Has it?"

"Well, no."

"And it never will," Sean said urgently. "Listen, I'm not asking you for sex. I'm asking you for that intimacy. That closeness. I'm asking you to just BE with me. Let me hold you, maybe. Talk with you. There are things I need to tell you. Just... be with me, Elijah. " 

Elijah slowly smiled the smile that never failed to take Sean's breath away. He leaned toward his friend until their foreheads were almost touching then whispered: "But I AM with you, Seanie." His voice was low and achingly intense... seeming to hold the promise of everything Sean yearned for. 

"Elijah..." he whispered back, feeling a thrill of desire and breathless anticipation. 

"I'm right here," Elijah said. "Right here with you."

Sean caressed his face then slowly stroked his hair, feeling a sense of awed wonder as he watched the dark locks drift through his fingers. "So beautiful," Sean whispered. He was falling. Falling into the spell of Elijah's enchantment just as he had countless times in the past. Endlessly losing himself in the slow, languid narcotic of Elijah's magnetism. 

"Yes," he whispered finally. "Yes I did, Elijah. I came here to seduce you."

Elijah smiled. "I know."

"But that's not the only reason I'm here," Sean continued, his lips mere inches from Elijah's. "I'm here because I've never stopped being in love with you, Elijah. I don't think I ever could. And I'm here because things HAVE changed and I need to tell you about it."

Elijah's smile grew softer, and his arms wound around Sean's neck. "Thank you for saying it that way, Seanie. Thank you for saying _'never stopped being in love with you'_ rather than _'never stopped loving you'_."

Sean's lips drew closer yet, his breath touching Elijah's face. "Is there a difference?" he asked softly.

"I think you know there is."

Sean smiled. "Of course I know. My whole life is bound up in that difference."

"Does the seducing part start now?" Elijah asked with a grin.

Sean laughed rather shakily. He got to his feet, drawing Elijah up with him. "If you think it hasn't _already_ started I must be losing my touch." 

Elijah shook his head, laughing softly. He took a step backward, his hands still clasped in Sean's. "Your touch is working just fine," he said. "I just want to go slow with this, Seanie. I really do. It's no fun for me waking up to a YOU who is consumed with guilt and self-loathing. I've had some experience in that regard and it's no fun at all. You walk away to seek forgiveness in the loving arms of your family while I sit here staring at the wall wanting to kick my own ass for being a stupid fucking git.... _again_."

Sean nodded, looking down at where their hands were joined sliding his thumb softly over Elijah's knuckles. "I know," he said finally. "I don't blame you, Elijah, honestly I don't. And if you'll just hear me out I may be able to convince you that you won't go through that again." He looked up at his friend. 

Elijah smiled, moving closer to Sean again. "Sooooo..." he drawled mischievously. "You ARE here because you want to make love to me!"

Sean shook his head and laughed. "You do love to tease me don't you."

Elijah arched an eyebrow. "You sort of set yourself up for it. You come here in the middle of the night on the pretense of having this deep, intellectual conversation about our relationship when the fact of the matter is...." he drew in a deep breath. "You saw a naked picture of me and it got you so fucking hot you wanted to drive over here and jump me before you'd even said hello."

Sean looked at him for a moment, then shrugged and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry." 

"Why be sorry?" Elijah asked with a shrug. "It's not a bad thing, wanting to make love to me. That's the good part! It's what comes _after_ that's bad."

Sean slid his hands up Elijah's arms to his shoulders. He moved closer until their bodies were touching lightly all up and down their length, his fingers slowly moving up the back of Elijah's neck and into his hair. "It _won't_ be!" he said vehemently. "Elijah, I promise you. I give you my word!"

Elijah leaned back and stared gravely into his face. "And all of this comes from seeing one picture of me? All this change from just _that_?"

"Well, it was _quite_ the picture," Sean said softly. 

Elijah scowled skeptically and shook his head.

"It wasn't the picture, Elijah," Sean explained quietly. "It was what I felt when I looked at the picture. What I finally _LET_ myself feel!"

"And that was enough to convince you that it was OK for you to cheat on your wife?" Elijah asked bluntly. "And is it now also OK for her to do the same?"

"Elijah, no," Sean said, pleadingly. "That's not it at all." 

Elijah shook his head and moved out from under Sean's caressing fingers. "These are the things you need to think about, Seanie. I know you love Chris. And that's something _I_ have to think about."

Sean dropped his hands and drew in a deep breath. "I know that. And you're right, I do love my wife, Elijah. But I love her as a friend not as a life partner. Not anymore. I value and respect her, but only as a friend and as the mother of my children. But that's it! Ever since New Zealand, Elijah, I haven't felt real _passion_ for anyone but YOU! I don't think I fully realized that until lately. And it made me understand why I've felt so empty inside."

"And have you told HER this?"

"As a matter of fact, I have."

Elijah's mouth fell open in disbelief. "Sean?"

"I didn't mention your name. I saw no point to that." Sean sighed deeply and flopped back down in the kitchen chair. For a long time he studied his hands, then he spoke: "I did tell her that my feelings had changed. I did tell her that I love her as a friend, but no more. I did tell her that I had feelings for someone else."

"Jesus! What did she say?"

Sean shrugged. "What could she say? I didn't frame it as a debate. I told her from the get-go that I simply had a few things to tell her that I thought she needed to know."

"She didn't say _anything_?" Elijah asked in surprise. 

"Well, actually she said quite a lot but most of it wasn't really relevant to this conversation. Fact of the matter is, we talked for days. It went on and on, and it took a long time before she became even minimally ready to accept things as they are."

Elijah knelt on the floor in front of Sean's chair and grasped his arms. "She didn't ask for a divorce?"

"No. She did ask if _I_ wanted a divorce."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I told her I didn't know what I wanted but that I wasn't ready for that big a move just yet unless she forced it on me."

Elijah frowned and Sean immediately understood. He spoke quickly: "I know! I know what you're thinking! I wanted to tell her, yes, that I DID want a divorce. Then I wanted to tear over here and tell YOU all about it! I wanted to come to you ready to lay my whole life at your feet, Elijah." He hesitated then rushed ahead: "But, baby, I just couldn't do it! Not yet. Issy's so young! Hell, Elizabeth is still just a baby in spite of the fact that she's eleven and thinks she's hot stuff! It just feels wrong to me somehow to just walk away and—"

"Stop right there, Sean," Elijah blurted. "Do you think I'd ever ask you for that?"

"No! Of course I don't!" He leaned forward drawing Elijah up into his arms. I know you would _never_ ask me for such a thing. But that's hardly the point. I wanted to give it to you without you HAVING to ask." His fingertips caressed Elijah's face as he stared into the endless blue of his eyes, falling into the same sapphire eclipse that had enchanted him so many years ago. "I love you so much," he whispered. "I know this isn't the beginning you wanted. But can you see it as A beginning at least?"

Elijah nodded. "I can." He pulled away from Sean and stood up, then offered him his hand. "Care to relive a golden moment from our past?" he asked softly.

Sean stood and took Elijah's hand. He could feel his own hand trembling as Elijah's fingers wrapped around his. It had been a long time since they'd been together like this. A long time since he'd let himself feel the hope of intimacy with this man who he had loved so desperately for so long. He hesitated as Elijah drew him forward and looked back at him questioningly.

"Sorry," Sean muttered, moving forward quickly. "I'm a little... I dunno, nervous I guess."

"Thought you came here wanting this," Elijah said. 

"Weren't we headed upstairs?" Sean asked, looping his arm around Elijah's neck and moving in that direction.

Elijah laughed briefly. "Well, we WERE, but if you'd rather stop..."

Sean turned to him and tightened his arm around Elijah's neck, drawing him close. "I would NOT rather stop," he whispered. He stared into Elijah's eyes for another moment before kissing him, his eyes closing as the feeling of Elijah's lips under his sent a shuddering wave of aching need through every part of his body.

He slid his tongue over Elijah's lower lip, drowning in memory... drowning in sensation. That lower lip was a focal point for Sean. Its sensuous curve had always captivated him nearly to the point of obsession, and now to feel it, soft and full, under his tongue, under his lips, tasting the sweetness of Elijah's breath... he swayed, light-headed, and felt Elijah's arm around his waist tighten to steady him.

"Yes," Sean whispered, his voice shaking with passion. "Yes. Upstairs."

Elijah chuckled softly and his arm tightened again, guiding Sean as they started up the stairs, both of them swaying off-balance as they refused to relinquish their grip on each other. 

Sean's lips found Elijah's temple even as they climbed, pressed a kiss there, and smiled as the scent of Elijah's hair filled him with remembering. They turned a corner at the top of the stairs and quickly reached the bedroom where Sean turned away, looking around, trying to still the trembling of his hands.

"You OK?" Elijah asked softly. He laid his hand gently on Sean's arm, noting its quivering. "Seanie?"

Sean turned back to him and smiled. "I'm fine!" he insisted with an obviously forced bravado.

Elijah leaned against him laughing softly. "Sure you are," he teased, clearly not believing a word.

Sean sighed, annoyed with himself. "Guess I'm still a bit nervous," he conceded going red in the face.

"Has it been _that_ long?" Elijah chuckled. "Look. We don't have to have sex. We can just lie there and talk. Get comfortable with each other again. 

"I feel like we're on our first date, and I just can't get it together," Sean said shaking his head. "Sorry, babe." Suddenly decisive, he slid Elijah's simple grey suit jacket off his shoulders. "Want me to hang this up?"

Elijah giggled, grabbed the jacket, and tossed it onto a nearby chair. "No, I don't. What I want is for you to relax. Jeez, Astin, you're not with a total stranger here. We've done this before."

But Sean barely heard his words. He was looking down, slowly running his shaky fingers over Elijah's arms and chest, the soft fabric of the T-shirt torturing him. "Take this off," he whispered, tugging at the hem.

Elijah immediately pulled the T-shirt over his head and threw it to the floor. Sean said nothing, but Elijah heard his wavering inhale. His fingers hovered over Elijah's skin, not touching, not moving, his eyes glued to Elijah's chest.

"Seanie," Elijah whispered, stroking his hair. Sean's whole body was trembling now, violently trembling. "Seanie, it's OK. We're OK now."

Sean's fingers gently lifted to rest on Elijah's shoulders, then moved slowly, slowly down his arms. "So strong," he whispered shakily. "So different, but god, so fucking beautiful."

Elijah pressed his lips to Sean's forehead, his own breath becoming erratic. Seeing and feeling how deeply affected Sean was by the mere sight and touch of his body filled Elijah with a growing sense of wonder. His own passion grew as he felt Sean's fingers move to his chest, caressing Elijah's skin with exquisite tenderness.

"Elijah, Elijah," Sean murmured. "My god, you're so perfect. So different than you were before."

"That's twice you've said that," Elijah said. " _How_ different, Seanie?"

Sean lifted his head, his hands moving to cup Elijah's pectorals, his thumbs gently caressing Elijah's nipples. He felt light-headed, almost drugged, by the force of his arousal. "Jesus, Elijah," he whispered. One hand moved to caress Elijah's face, tracing the planes and angles of his jaw and cheekbones. "So strong," he murmured. "Before... you were soft and round, and now all that softness is gone. Your face... your body... all lean muscle."

"I grew up," Elijah said, smiling gently. "I was only eighteen when you met me... seventeen really. A lot of change happens in the fourteen years or so between seventeen and thirty-two."

Sean's lips found the curve of Elijah's neck, biting and licking gently across his shoulder, then lower... to allow his lips and tongue to caress the top of Elijah's chest. "Ohhh god," Sean moaned softly. "Lij, baby, god, I've never wanted anyone this much before. Never. Not anyone."

Elijah's hands lifted to cup Sean's face. "Listen, Astin. What say we get the rest of these clothes off and head in that direction." He nodded toward the king-sized bed nearby. "Ya think?" he asked softly.

Sean blinked as he looked into Elijah's eyes, feeling giddy with desire. His hands fell to the snap of Elijah's jeans, popping it open expertly then lowering the zipper, his fingers instantly moving to gently press his growing erection through cotton briefs, feeling it throb beneath his fingers, wrenching a moan from deep within him.

"Off!" Elijah demanded in a horse whisper. "Take them off, Sean!"

Sean slid his fingers beneath the waistband of Elijah's briefs and drew them down in one piece with his jeans, stooping as he did to allow Elijah to step out of them, then standing again, slowly, his hand moving up Elijah's legs and thighs as he rose caressing the silky nakedness revealed to him, pausing at last to stroke the hot swollen flesh of Elijah's cock.

Elijah's hands were fumbling with the snap of Sean's jeans. "C'mon, Seanie. Take these off. Now!"

Sean looked down at his jeans as if surprised. He'd been so focused on removing Elijah's clothing that he'd totally forgotten about his own. Stepping back from Elijah, he tore his shirt off and hastily threw it aside, then quickly removed his pants.

When he looked up, Elijah was standing beside the bed. His naked skin had the smoothness of cream and glowed like rich alabaster. This vision was crowned, or so it seemed to Sean, by the pink flush of his arousal. His eyes were deep, dark wells of longing. "My god, you're so incredibly beautiful," Sean whispered. "I can't believe I really get to touch something this... perfect."

"Get over here," Elijah growled, beckoning to him. "I'm a far cry from perfection, Seanie. What I AM is a guy who loves you... and maybe that's what perfection's all about. Come on. Get over here, and show me how much you want me."

He moved to Elijah's side in one quick step and hungrily gathered him close, desperately craving the feeling of Elijah's naked body pressed to his own. His lips devoured Elijah's, kissing him with a fierce hunger. He longed to absorb Elijah's very essence into himself, making them one in ways that they had never dreamt of before. He sipped and licked at Elijah's mouth with delicate, feathery touches and then crushed their lips together with ravenous hunger, wild to get enough... and sure that he never would... never could… get enough of this man who he craved with every fiber of his being.

Elijah leaned toward the bed, tipping them onto it with Sean's body falling on top of his, molded to him, crushing him against the mattress, still kissing him with fierce and savage ardor. Elijah had never seen Sean like this before. He'd always been a deeply passionate lover, but he'd never felt Sean lose control like this. Never felt him make love with this kind of frantic, desperate need.

And Elijah loved it. His own need was as great as Sean's and he clutched his lover to his body, wrapping his arms and legs around him... arching up to meet Sean's frantic thrusts moaning with profound desire. 

Sean suddenly moved lower, squirming out of Elijah's iron grip, kissing and licking his way down Elijah's body. His mouth and tongue devoured Elijah's pectorals and the sensitive peaks of his nipples like a starving man who has at last found food while Elijah writhed against him, calling out Sean's name again and again. 

Lower and lower Sean crept, moving his lips, his tongue, his hands over Elijah's body with fervent adoration, kissing and licking his 'Fellowship' tattoo, swirling his tongue around Elijah's navel, then lower to lick and caress his straining erection. "Oh god," Sean moaned against his skin. "God, Elijah, I love your body. I love it, I love it so much."

"Sean!" Elijah gasped, clutching at him. "Get the lube, baby! It's in the drawer next to the bed." Sean glanced up at him, his eyes glazed over with desire. "No," he whispered his voice harsh in his throat. "No lube. Not that way. Not tonight." He swirled his tongue around the head of Elijah's full, throbbing erection, moving it slowly and teasingly at first, then flicking with blinding speed, loving the agonized moans and whimpers that came from his lover's throat. His hand moved lower to caress Elijah's balls and the sensitive area between his legs.

Elijah gasped and his moans turned to harsh cries as his body arched and writhed beneath Sean's hands and tongue. His hands clenched the sheet on either side of him as he struggled to hold back the shattering orgasm he knew was only moments away. "Oh, god!!" he cried. "Sean! I'll come! OHHH god!! GOD! I can't stop!!" 

"Don't stop! I want you to come!" Sean gasped, lifting his lips only briefly from Elijah's engorged cock. "Do it! Come for me, baby!" His hand closed over Elijah's hardness, pumping him as fast as he could while still sucking and licking the head. 

Elijah writhed in passionate agony, his hips rising off the bed, his whole body shaking. His hand frantically grasped Sean's hair and he screamed as his body convulsed in exquisite and agonizing ecstasy, coming again and again as Sean swallowed with every pulsing wave of pleasure.

"Jesus!" Elijah cried, his body and legs shaking wildly, his breath heaving. "Jesus, Seanie!" He lay sprawled on the bed, panting, unable to move or even speak while Sean, trembling just as violently, pressed his face to Elijah's belly, trying to regain a measure of control.

"Lij," he choked out. "Oh god, Lijah." 

Elijah reached to grab Sean's arms and hauled him higher, pulling him down on top of his body. "Get the lube!" Elijah said between clenched teeth. "Get it now!"

"No," Sean breathed, molding himself against Elijah... naked body to naked body... every curve and angle meeting. "We're one," Sean gasped. "One soul!" He kissed Elijah with an almost savage hunger, his tongue caressing Elijah's as his body thrust and rocked against him, cock to cock, body to body, feeling himself melt against his lover, merging with him on every possible level as the indescribable pleasure built and grew until Sean was crying out with every thrust. 

"Oh god!" Sean cried, tearing his lips from Elijah's as their bodies writhed together. He gasped, grinding against Elijah's body, blinded by ravenous desire. Then it began... a huge swell of pleasure, wracking him, taking his breath, taking his soul, until he finally screamed Elijah's name and fell into a hot white light of pleasure as he came again and again, transported by an ecstasy that he had never known before, feeling Elijah's body spasm as he came again, his desire renewed by Sean's passionate love-making.

For a long time afterward they lay without moving or speaking, chests heaving, their hearts pounding as they savored the oneness they shared in this moment.

Finally Sean stirred. "Oh my god, Elijah," he panted, still struggling to catch his breath. He leaned on his elbows to take some of his weight off his slender lover. "You OK, baby?" he asked softly. Elijah's eyes were closed, and through his chest Sean could feel his heart pounding, could feel the heat that still poured through the creamy satin of his skin. "Babe?"

Elijah's eyes slowly opened and Sean stared into glittering sapphire. "Jesus, Astin," Elijah breathed. "Jesus!" He reached up to stroke Sean's sweat-covered face. "That was just fucking...," he hesitated. "Hell, I don't know WHAT to call it! I've never felt anything that intense before... that incredible. And that doesn't even begin to cover it. My god, I thought I was going to _die_."

Sean rolled gently off Elijah's body and stretched out at his side. "Well, sweetie, I'm sure glad you didn't." He drew in a deep sigh then exhaled slowly, feeling his body relaxing slowly into complete and utter satiation. "My god, that was ... well I'm with you, I can't find the words to describe it." He turned to his back momentarily, letting the cooler air in the room bathe his heated skin, then he turned back and kissed Elijah's arm.

"But you're right about this much. I've never before felt anything that overwhelming, that intense. Not ever. Not with anyone." He smiled and leaned in to kiss Elijah tenderly. "I've never felt that close to anyone before, not even you. We were one, Elijah. We still are."

Elijah nodded soberly. "I know. I feel it too. And little though I hate to be sensible at a time like this, that sorta begs the question: What now?"

Sean nodded in return. "Well first off I'd say a shower is in order."

Elijah laughed shortly. "On that point I agree with you."

"Then," Sean said with a quick grin, leaning down to kiss and nuzzle Elijah's cheek, "I'm going to print out a copy of that picture and have it framed!"

Elijah laughed out loud.

"And finally," Sean added quietly, "we need have a long talk. Decide where we're going and how long we want this process to take. I won't just ditch Chris and the girls. I want to do what's right as best I can."

Elijah nodded but made no reply.

"But at the same time," Sean continued. "Tonight taught me so much. So _much_ , Elijah. The path in front of me has been incredibly dark for so long. I've felt sad all the time... and terribly lonely. But after tonight there's a light suddenly shining. I can see for the first time where I truly need to walk." He smiled at Elijah and bent to kiss his lips with slow, lingering tenderness. "And who I need to walk with. I have you to thank for that, baby."

"It's not going to be easy," Elijah observed soberly. "There's a lot to decide. A lot to figure out. I don't want to rush things either, for our sakes as much as for theirs. I'd rather take it slow now then regret rushing things later on." He leaned up on his elbow and touched Sean's face caressingly. "But I want you to know this much, Seanie. Tonight has decided me too. I'm in this for the long haul now. I'm committed."

Sean looked quickly down. "Lij," he choked out, his voice thick with tears. "Lijah, baby, I love you so much."

Elijah tipped Sean's face up until they were staring into each other's eyes. "I love you too. I'm yours now, Seanie," he breathed. "We're one. Now and forever. One."

"And our journey begins with a trip to the shower?" Sean asked, grinning.

"Don't you think it had _better_?" Elijah asked, indicating his body and Sean's which were both coated with the evidence of their passionate lovemaking.

"Well, if you insist," Sean teased. He clambered out of bed and held out his hand to Elijah, drawing him to his feet. "I can handle whatever's in front of us as long as I know we'll be together."

Elijah rose and stood beside him, his hand on Sean's shoulder. For a moment he stared pensively past Sean to the growing light outside his window. "Who's to say what either of us can handle?" he said finally. "All I know is that we've made a new beginning tonight that's healed our relationship in a way that I never would have thought was possible." He looked up and touched Sean's cheek. "And for tonight... I'm content with that."

\- end -

This is the picture that drove Sean so crazy. Wouldn't it do the same to YOU??  



End file.
